Mountains, Mental Health, and Self-Care with Steward Riley McGurn

By Riley McGurn

The mountains are so special to me and many others; the challenges, the views, the physical activity, and the experiences all encourage us to go back frequently. Like the mountains, as individuals, we also experience peaks and valleys throughout our lives. We develop our character, grit, and passion in these high and low points. For myself, I stumbled upon trail running and hiking in the White Mountains just a few years ago, and that journey has been so impactful on my life and my goals for the future.

Working in a hospital, I found myself reaching for ways to decompress from the stressors at work. Working overnights, I often found myself unable to sleep after shifts. I was introduced to running by a patient of mine. Suffering from a psychotic break, restriction to the unit, and minimal access to the outdoors: This was the patient’s reality for nearly eight months. I was walking by her side for up to 16 hours a day and ensuring that she was safe, as well as other patients. I realized I had the access and ability to run, so I started one mile at a time. Then, I started to run more—  Not only for my mental clarity, but also to provide a sense of relief from my work. Slowly, my life became enriched through experiences, races, and trails.

Often running at Pawtuckaway State Park in southern New Hampshire, I wanted to explore longer distances and steeper elevations. In December of 2020, I took to the White Mountains and started off with Mount Tecumseh. The snow-packed trails were a dream. Climbing was hard, but the reward of summiting was so special. I craved more, and as soon as I was home, I was planning the next adventure. I fell into this pattern for months; it became a part of my life and still is. The White Mountains became my home: I finished the 48 in under six months. After that, I completed a Pemigewasset Loop and Presidential Traverse. These routes made me crave so much more, which opened the door to mountain races. The first race I ran was the Chocorua Mountain race, an exhilarating route that takes you up and over the mountain through a beautiful network of trails. After that I signed up for the Kilkenny Ridge Race; a 25-mile race through the rugged and remote terrain of the northern White Mountains.

Riley pictured climbing Mount Adams on his first Presidential Traverse.

Over the past few years, I have learned so much about myself and what these mountains allow me to see and do. I can go to places people rarely see, and to areas that pictures surely don’t do justice. I’ve been humbled by these mountains just as much as I have been lifted by them. In 2023, I had big ambitions: To run a 50-mile race in the Whites. Fortunately, White Mountain Endurance Racing puts on the Jigger Johnson 50mi and 100mi race. I signed up for the daunting 50-miler that climbs 17,000ft of elevation. With rain throughout the summer, this course was sopping wet and full of mud. Training was hard due to the wet conditions, but some friends and I made the most of it. This race brought me through quite the physical journey, but more profoundly, I experienced emotional and psychological growth. Throughout this race, I found myself reflecting on many different life experiences; from the highs and lows, as well as how I reacted to these situations. Around 40+ miles into the race, I found myself battling demons in my head—These negative racing thoughts wouldn’t go away until I kept moving. The climbs became never-ending.

Riley on South Moat Mountain during the Jigger Johnson Trail Race. Photo by @ethanjsphotography

I thought back to those long shifts with my patient and thinking about others while out on the race. I was deep in the pain cave in the mountains, challenging these negative thoughts, and dealing with a painful foot. My patients got me through the last 6 miles of the race.

In the last year, I have had quite a change in my own life. A diagnosis of bipolar disorder connected a lot of the dots in my life that I found hard to align: Mania, depression, racing thoughts, and a disorganized lifestyle. I found myself in a dark place; it was reassuring that a lot of what I was doing in my life was because of this disorder. I reflected, noticing the highs and lows I had encountered. The diagnosis made sense and there was a bit of relief.

Not only have I experienced physical peaks and valleys, but psychologically too. It all made sense. I would become a bit manic when running in the mountains, planning back-to-back days. Choosing risky adventures and putting myself out in questionable weather. One day I went out not realizing that the winds would eventually gust up to 95mph— This trip taught me a lot about myself and the potential risk of succumbing to the elements. I was naïve and developed a better understanding by using the Higher Summits Forecasts to help determine when it was best for me to go out.

For myself, the mountains are my home, and the more I move, the clearer my mind becomes. I have found peace within myself and these mountains. I’m grateful to be able to share these experiences with those around me. Working with MWOBS has been a dream of mine, and I’m so thankful that I can help fundraise for Seek the Peak. The weather observatory has become a staple in my planning for training runs and adventures; I am always looking on the site to find more information so can I travel safely through the mountains.

Here I am now, working with the Observatory for Seek the Peak, now with a better understanding of what weather is safe to go out in. Regulated on my medication, I am no longer finding myself in risky situations or manic states. Reflecting on my past adventures and the risks I took is humbling. Mental health, especially men’s, is not discussed enough– Sharing these experiences with others is important to help those in need.

Riley McGurn is a 2024 Seek the Peak Steward, sharing resources and insight with the community about the Observatory’s largest annual fundraiser. He is also a recently featured Local Hero with Oboz Footwear; you can learn more about him through their recent feature here.